creative outcomes

My creative outcomes portfolio features diverse series of paintings that explore the multifaceted experiences of Eating Disorders. Through a range of works that depict the challenges and struggles faced by those affected by these conditions I aim to shed light on the often overlooked and misunderstood aspects of Eating Disorders.

The portfolio also includes highlights from exhibitions at various galleries and the artist publication. Cumulatively, the creative outcomes facilitate a platform for the experiences depicted to be recognised and understood.

I believe that by bringing attention to the realities of Eating Disorders, we can work towards reducing the stigma and misunderstanding surrounding these conditions. Through my paintings and the various exhibitions and publication in which they have been featured. I hope to create a sense of understanding and connection for those who may be struggling with Eating Disorders and to provide a platform for exploration and reflection on these important and often difficult topics.

the untold

series of 20 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

In this series of paintings, I explore the untold and hidden experiences of Eating Disorder behaviours. The aim is to shed light on the often invisible struggles faced by those affected. They strive to depict the complex and nuanced experiences of Eating Disorders. My objective is to give voice to the challenges and struggles faced by those affected by these conditions. Eating Disorders can often be accompanied by feelings of shame and secrecy, and I believe that by bringing attention to these hidden experiences, we can gain a greater understanding of the challenges faced by those affected and the ways in which these behaviours can impact the body and the mind.

asylum for the unwell

Folger Institute: Artist Research Fellowship
series of 10 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

Within my doctoral study, the Folger Institute Artist Research Fellowship provided significant primary research data alongside ample support for my artist production, my work ‘Asylum for the Unwell’ (2022), which examined the cross-cultural and historic narratives of mental illness. Upon analysis, there were immense similarities in terms of ‘who’ is creating the dominant narratives. Drawing from Michel Foucault those being in a position of an ‘experts’ i.e. doctors, playwriters, and religious leaders, become the sole authorities in the field. The ones who exert power also render representations on behalf of those with mental illnesses (Foucault, 1984). Foucault stated that “knowledge is not for knowing: knowledge is for cutting” (1984, p.61). Perhaps this is where the intention for my artwork emerges, as my imagery and content aims to cut through many of the current dominant narratives and misrepresentations of Eating Disorders

in both the historic and contemporary discourses. Through my artistic investigation, I examine the lived-in experiences of well-being from an insider perspective that counteracts the authoritative figures within society leading and representing what it is like to experience an illness. Those with that lived-in experience are the ones who have a depth of insight to contribute to the discourse. My art aims to juxtapose this power construct, through embodied understanding of vulnerable individuals.

‘where can we go when our unwell bodies are not our own?’ (Zlatar, Artist Journal, 2021 p.32)

refuge for the oppressed body

series of 20 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

Those with Eating Disorders seek the comfort of controlling and even oppressing their own bodies. This may be perceived as a ‘flawed’ attempt to exert some sort of agency in this world, but this self-oppression should be noted as a common pattern among Eating Disorder individuals who have experienced a sexual violation and trauma (Palumbo, 2022). That is, Palumbo (2022) notes when the body has become violated in some way, individuals with Eating Disorders use the eating disorder behaviours i.e. binging, purging, restriction to cope and protect oneself. It is not something that is inherently positive, but it helps people survive; it provides refuge. These works explore this concept of asylum through the body. Some reoccurring themes within this series, is the use of my childhood teddy bear ‘Pink’, she has always been a dichotomous strategy for coping: on one hand, it is a source of comfort and to me is the embodiment of my younger self and on the other hand it is a way of suppressing the adult self.

in-patient memoirs

series of 8 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

In-patient treatment can be a necessary step on the road to recovery for many individuals with Eating Disorders, but it can also be a deeply isolating and overwhelming experience (Westmoreland & Mehler, 2016). Through this paintings series, I aim to give voice to the complex and often difficult emotions that can arise during this process and to shed light on the ways in which in-patient treatment can impact the mind and body.

abstracting an illness

series of 14 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

In the series ‘Abstracting an Illness’ (2022), I abstract the experience of Eating Disorders through non-representational modalities in order to diverge from the stereotypical representations of the Disease. Through a series of works that use abstract forms and shapes to depict the complexity of Eating Disorders, I aim to shed light on the often difficult and nuanced experiences of those affected.

Eating Disorders are often depicted in a narrow and stereotypical way, and I believe that by using abstract forms, I can create a more nuanced and multifaceted representation of these conditions. Through my paintings, I aim to provide a platform for exploration and reflection and to shed light on the often-overlooked realities of Eating Disorders.

chaos and control

series of 8 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

Throughout this body of work ‘Chaos and Control’ (2022), I explore the contradiction of binge eating and then starving oneself as someone with an Eating Disorder. I depict the complex and often tumultuous relationship with food that often reflects psychological patterns between chaos and control. My series of works that delve into experiences of binge eating, I aim to shed light on the ways in which these opposing forces can coexist within the same individual.

a serbian renaissance

series of 11 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

My artwork is deeply influenced by my heritage and my personal experiences with mental health. Growing up, I was surrounded by the rich cultural traditions of my family and community, which instilled in me a deep sense of pride and connection to my roots. However, as I grew older, I also began to grapple with the ways in which my heritage intersected with my mental health. In my cultural heritage, emotions are normally supposed to be repressed. My family never spoke of mental health and women were known for being more emotional and our tears have often been invalidated. My works are exploring key historical Serbian paintings of women reimagined and rendered to embrace me, my illness, and my tears to shed light on the ways in which cultural expectations and traditions can sometimes conflict with an individual's personal well-being. I believe that it is important to acknowledge and honour the ways in which our cultural backgrounds shape our experiences, while also recognizing that it is okay to seek support and care for our mental health.

the gendered body

series of 3 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2022.

In this series, I explore the ways in which individuals with Eating Disorders may try to de-gender their bodies due to past trauma such as sexual abuse and the challenges that can arise in the process. Through this series, I aim to highlight the complex and often difficult relationship between the psychological self and the body. I aim to depict the ways in which individuals may try to de-sexualise or de-gender themselves in order to feel more at peace with their bodies as well as it being a mechanism for safeguarding themselves from further unwanted attention.

Eating Disorders can often be accompanied by feelings of discomfort and disconnection with the body, and I believe that by bringing attention to these experiences, we can gain a greater understanding of the challenges faced by those affected. In the works, I am de-gendering through cutting off my female breasts in an attempt to seperate from the sexualized female form. By de-gendering the body in my work, I aim to explore the ways in which societal expectations and norms can contribute to feelings of discomfort and disconnection.

the body remembers

series of 10 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2021-2022.

Throughout my painting series ‘The Body Remembers’, I address how the human body stores and remembers trauma, particularly in the context of Eating Disorders. Drawing from my own experiences and observations, I aim to create a visual representation of the ways in which trauma can become embedded in the body and the ways in which it can manifest and resurface over time. By bringing attention to the ways in which trauma can be embodied, we can gain a greater understanding of the complexities of recovery and the impact of trauma on the body and mind.

bones and flesh

series of 10 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2021-2022.

This series explores the complex and often tumultuous relationship between the mind and body in the context of Eating Disorders. Through a series of paintings that juxtapose bones and flesh, I emphasise how Eating Disorders can distort and disrupt the way we perceive and relate to our bodies, leading to a disconnection between the mind and the physical self. By depicting bones and flesh in close proximity, I highlight this disconnection and the often, difficult process of re-establishing a healthy relationship between the mind and body.

memories are not stored in objects

series of 20 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2021-2022.

In this series of still-life paintings, I explore the dark and often hidden realities of Eating Disorders. These paintings depict scenes of struggle and pain within the mundanity of daily life, drawing attention to the invisible struggles faced by those with Eating Disorders. By depicting these struggles within the context of everyday life, my works humanises the Eating Disorder issue and bring attention to the subtle and often overlooked ways in which Eating Disorders manifest and impact those affected by them.

the feelings that linger

series of 12 works. acrylic. 6x4” 2021.

‘The Feelings That Linger’ explores the complex and often difficult feelings that continue to be present after Eating Disorder treatment. While treatment can be a crucial step towards recovery, it is not always a straightforward or easy process. Through my art, I aim to give voice to the ongoing struggles and challenges that many people face as they try to recover from an Eating Disorder. My work speaks to the frustration, fear, and vulnerability that can linger long after treatment has ended. I believe that it is important to acknowledge and address these difficult feelings in order to heal and move forward. By sharing my own experiences and creating a space for others to do the same, I am to create a sense of connection and understanding for those who may feel isolated in their struggles.

art in action

In my work about Eating Disorders, I strive to create an intimate and personal connection with the viewer. To achieve this, I use small-scale paintings alongside personal everyday items such as my childhood teddy bear, my scale and my eating utensils that invite the viewer to engage with the work on a deeper, more intimate level.

Each artwork tells a unique story, drawing from my own experiences with Eating Disorders as well as the experiences of others. By sharing these deeply personal stories, I intend to create a sense of empathy and understanding in the viewer. Some examples of how I displayed these creative outcomes are from the solo shows in Arthouse Jersey (British Channel Islands, 2022) and A Glimpse Behind The Blood (Taipei, 2022). Through my work, I aim to raise awareness about these often misunderstood and stigmatised conditions, and to provide a ‘voice for the untold’ on behalf of those who may be struggling with an Eating Disorder.

Image Stills From A Glimpse Behind The Blood

Image Stills From Art House Jersey

one body, my body, no body

"One Body, My Body No Body: An Investigation Into The Life of An Artist Who Endures an Eating Disorder, Body Dysmorphia and Mental Illness", 2021, ISBN: 9781006904400.

In this artist book, I delve into the grim reality of Eating Disorders, shedding light on the untold narratives of my Eating Disorder experience and those who have struggled with these devastating conditions. Through a range of paintings and personal stories, the book’s aim is to not only educate and inform but also to provide a sense of connection and hope for those who may feel isolated in their struggles. Eating Disorders are often shrouded in secrecy and shame, and this book aims to breakdown those psychological and emotional barriers by inviting readers to partake on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and resilience. This publication has sold over 50 copies and is available in print and digitally accessible formats on Amazon, Good Press and Blurb.

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